Superman Termination Manual - Chapter 526

Chapter 526: Chapter 261 “At Least You, I Will Let You Live Chapter 526: Chapter 261 “At Least You, I Will Let You Live The two of them walked in the small park where they used to play often when they were little, stopping in front of the swing. The sun was setting in the west, and the afterglow spilled onto the sand at their feet, shimmering brightly.

Ke Mingye looked down at the soft sand for a while, then grabbed the rope of the swing and turned to look at Bai Zini: “So, you ran all the way to this place, what for?”

Bai Zini sat on the other swing and asked faintly, “Before they arrive, I want you to keep me company for a bit, is that okay?”

“Okay,” Ke Mingye said.

The two of them looked up at the little boys and girls frolicking in the park, seeing themselves as children in them.

They both couldn’t help but curve their lips into a smile and chuckled.

“When we were little, you always bullied me,” said Bai Zini.

“Did I?”

“Yes, you did. Just like that little brat, throwing sand on me, then climbing up the slide. I was too scared to go up and could only stay below,
It seemed like back then, you were also urging me to come down quickly, afraid I would fall and get hurt.”

“Yeah… I was so silly when I was little, getting bullied yet still worrying about you.”

“It’s all small matters from the past, don’t hunt me down for that debt,” Ke Mingye said indifferently.

“Speaking of our childhood, I feel like… you’ve changed a bit recently,” Bai Zini suddenly said.

“Why?” Ke Mingye turned his face to look at her.

“I don’t know, it’s like intuition,” Bai Zini shook her head, “But when I talked to Xiao Ling about it, she said she feels you haven’t changed.”

“Why?”

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Ke Mingye hung his head, not making eye contact with her again, and continued to ask.

“She said, you’ve always been like this, whenever you get to be close to someone, you subconsciously pull yourself away,” said Bai Zini, “She also said… that’s the look of someone afraid to be abandoned.”

Ke Mingye shrugged his shoulders, unconvinced: “What do I have to be afraid of.”

“She said, you often worry about being abandoned again like when you were a child, so to prevent yourself from getting hurt, you’ve always prepared yourself mentally for abandonment and kept a distance from your family.”

Ke Mingye fell silent.

“Is that so?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” said Bai Zini, turning her head to stare at him, “Is it?”

Ke Mingye fell silent again for a while.

He thought to himself that maybe he was just like Bai Ziling had said, just on this point, he was indeed much like the Ke Mingye of the past.

Only, that Ke Mingye kept his distance from people around him because he was afraid to be abandoned like he had been in his childhood, wanting to be less hurt when he was eventually abandoned.

He was different; he knew he wasn’t really Ke Mingye, and maybe one day he’d have to turn against these people around him, so he could only distance himself as much as possible, pull away, to avoid developing feelings for them as much as possible.

Otherwise, when that day comes, he wouldn’t be able to act.

After a long silence, he suddenly said: “Sometimes, I am very afraid.”

“Of what?”

Ke Mingye swung on the swing, his eyes downcast, and said softly, “I’m afraid that you all will find out what kind of person I really am and then dislike me, become estranged from me, and I think… since there’s a possibility of being disliked, maybe it’s better not to get close to you all from the start.”

Bai Zini listened quietly, without a word.

“Actually, I’m quite a coward.”

“I know,” she said.

“You know,” Ke Mingye touched his head, “that after I put on that mask and talk so much, it’s actually just because I’m very scared, thinking about my own death, I get so frightened that I shiver all over.”

“I know, that’s why I told you not to act tough.”

“But even you are acting tough, after all, I’m your brother, so I thought maybe I should act tough as well.”

“I didn’t want to see you come home with injuries, so I became a magic girl.”

“I know, but…”

“But what?”

“I don’t want to see my little sister crying alone in secret,” Ke Mingye said, “A few years ago… when your friend died, you were very sad, you slaughtered Ghosthand Buddha, and blood… flowed down a whole building, everyone was cursing you, calling you a witch, calling you a monster, saying you’re not fit to be a magic girl, saying you should be locked up in a madhouse, not to come out and cause harm to society…”

“Do you know, only now I understand… why you came knocking on my door that late night.”

“The door kept ringing, and you were knocking very softly, saying… brother, can you keep me company.”

He paused, his voice getting a bit hoarse: “But at that time I… I was very sleepy, I knew nothing, just impatiently told you to go away, that at such a late hour don’t knock on doors, and then went back to sleep, leaving you alone outside the door.”

“When I woke up the next morning, I found you… squatting outside my room, leaning against the door, your head buried in your knees asleep, but I was still laughing at you, saying you were crazy.”

Ke Mingye swallowed hard and was silent for a long time.

He continued: “Do you know, I only understand now what exactly happened that day, I don’t even dare to try to think… when you came knocking on my door that night, what was going through your mind…”

“Back then… you must have been very scared.”

“To think that at that time you really needed me, yet I knew nothing, oblivious that my little sister who had been softly knocking on my door for a long time was thinking.”

As he spoke, he took a gentle breath of the thin evening air, which pierced into his lungs like a sword.

In the last second before dusk faded away, he opened his mouth and uttered the final words.

“Sorry, I am really useless as a brother. You really needed me… and yet I didn’t stand by your side.”